


My Boy Builds Coffins

by MapleTreeway



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, heavy death mention, inspired by florence and the machine, kinda bittersweet, life and death au, mainly just angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4892494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MapleTreeway/pseuds/MapleTreeway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were in love, but couldn't touch each other. Even to accidentally brush against one another would mean that Alfred would die, and by extent so would Ivan. So Ivan and Alfred showed their love however they could. And their favorite form was gift giving. (Life and Death AU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hillside

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [this tumblr post](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/148288) by me. 



> Okay so I posted a tumblr post (link above) and a lot of people liked the idea and a few wanted it written so here you guys go. This chapter isn't too detailed, since it's just a prologue, so the next part will be way better ^^; Also I will refer to them as Death and Life most of the time and Ivan and Alfred only when they're speaking to one another. (I haven't written a multi-chaptered fic in so long oh god)  
> 

From behind a pair of glasses, familiar blue eyes met Death's own amethyst ones. Which was weird, seeing as he had no recollection of seeing them nor the person in general before. Bells rang in his mind saying, _I remember I remember I remember!_ but for the life of him he couldn't put a name on the face. It seemed to evade him. And the harder he stared at the person the more frustrating it became. Blond hair with a cowlick; a big, bright smile, tanned skin...why did it seem so much like déjà vu?

"'Kay dude," the person started, smile faltering, "you staring at me is really creepy."

_Full of life and with an American accent too,_ Death thought, narrowing his eyes. _Where do I know you from?_

"What is your _problem?_ " A pause. Then: "Oh...oh my god this is just great - I get stuck with the silent intense guy. Hey!" The person snapped his fingers in Death's face. Death blinked in surprise. "Quit staring at me okay?"

"You are not dying," Death stated in confusion.

"Course I'm not dying. I'm Life."

"But - how? I don't understand -" 

A look of realization dawned on Life's face, his mouth making a silent "oh". He took a few steps back in caution while he asked, "So you must be Death then?"

Death nodded, his amethyst eyes still troubled. _I know you from somewhere else,_ he wanted to say. _I know you..._

"Death seems like a macabre name though. Can I call you something else?"

"Like what?"

"You seem like an Ivan type since you're tall, pale, and wear a scarf, you know?"

A small, mirthless chortle escaped Death's mouth. "You want to call me Ivan?" He rephrased incredulously. For as long as he could remember he had always been called Death. To be called by another name would take some getting used to - even if "Ivan" felt familiar to his ears and tongue.

Life's brow furrowed together in mild offense and confusion. "Yeah..." he answered. "You got a problem with that?"

Ivan shook his head, waving a hand dismissively. "Not if I do not get to call you something else too."

"But my name is so awesome dude why would you want to change -"

"Alfred," Ivan interrupted. "You're name is Alfred."

Alfred closed his mouth, thinking on it. He rocked back and forth on his heels, bent his fingers backward, chewed his lip. His blue eyes looked up at the overcast sky as if the clouds held an answer. "You know," he started slowly after a moment, "that isn't half bad. I guess I can live with it."

"Good."

"So can I stick with you, buddy ol' pal?"

Death side eyed him. "No more puns," he said at last.

"But my puns are to _die_ for!"

"I will smack you with my metal pipe if you dare say that again."

Life laughed, long and loud.

\--

From then on the two were inseparable. Wherever Death went, Life followed, and vice versa. And as the decades blurred together the two grew closer. Sometimes they argued, but for the most part they were on good terms. Where loneliness would've grown flourished companionship, and from that solace. However they never dared touch one another. Not a high five or hug or anything else. Death feared that to touch Life would mean losing him. Life understood, but that never stopped his longing.

\--

The decades turned to centuries and it was Death who first became aware that his feelings for Life were not platonic. It scared him. Petrified, he couldn't bear to look his friend in the eye. To love what he could not have...wasn't that completely ironic? Those stories never boded well. They always ended in tragedy. No, Death preferred to not say anything and simply chew on his feelings. If he said something his heart would burst - he was sure of it.

That was what was running through his mind one summer night while Life and him sat on a hill, stargazing. "Check out Ursa Major," Life said, pointing up. "It's brighter today than five years ago."

Death hummed while crossing his legs. The grass under him turned brown and dry and brittle, but he paid it no mind. "There were clouds that year, Alfred," he reminded lightly.

"Oh. Yeah, guess you're right. Man times sure have changed haven't they?"

Ivan made a sound of agreement before turning his body towards his friend, heart fluttering in his chest. They were sitting so close, right next to each other. With just a few inches separating them, it would be so easy to lean over and place kisses all over Alfred's face. Between his eyes, his neck, his forehead. Chaste kisses that held every term of endearment he was too shy to speak aloud. Say "I love you" after each one...

Blue eyes met amethyst, and Ivan feared Alfred would read his thoughts. "Alfred -" he started softly, only to be interrupted.

"Shh I want to try something," Alfred said. His eyes flicked down to where their hands were. Tentatively, he raised his hand up in the space between him and Ivan. Ivan mimicked him, watching as his friend was about to intertwine their fingers and -

"No. No no no!" Death exclaimed, snatching his hand back and getting up. It was all too much. If he hadn't pulled away, then it would've been Life lying dead on the ground, not the grass. And if he lost Life, he would've lost the one thing he cared for most. And it would have been on his hands too. He would have killed his friend. Oh god. His heart raced, he was shaken up, and he couldn't help the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I do not want you to die. I love you too much. You can't - we cannot -"

Life looked up at him through the darkness, stunned.

"You almost died, Life. I could have killed you!"

"But we didn't touch. Ivan, calm down."

Ivan took a deep breath in, blinking away tears. Shaking slightly, he sunk down to knees, burrowed his head in his hands, and tried to get a grip. He couldn't though, not for a while. All he saw was Alfred's lifeless body staring up at him.

Alfred watched him sadly, feeling guilty and even more frustrated. "I'm sorry," he apologized in a whisper. "I love you too. I'm sorry."

They stayed like that for a while. Just the two of them on the hillside, underneath the stars.


	2. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to add two more chapters to this otherwise it would be way too long of a read. Some feedback would be very nice ;D

“I wish I could touch you,” Alfred said sadly. “I want to know how you feel like.”

Ivan smiled ruefully. “Cold,” he responded. “You would not like it.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do, my sunflower. No one likes it when I touch them. Except, of course, the broken souls.”

Alfred gave a small, humorless chuckle at that. “The same broken souls who don’t like me.”

Ivan made a noise of agreement, picking a semi-wilting flower nearby. Naturally at his touch the flower died completely, going limp and petals falling off, but he gave it to Alfred anyway. Alfred grinned widely when he took it, and both watched as color flooded back and it blossomed again. Vibrant. Perhaps more so than it had ever been before. “Wonderful," Ivan said, tone soft.

Alfred nodded in agreement.

\--

It was tough to be in love with someone whom you could not touch. Always the two were careful around each other, and from early on found that communication was important. “I’m behind you, big guy,” Life would say. And Death would wait until he was safely out of the way before taking a step back.

The yearning grew to be unbearable. A few times Death found himself wanting to hug his boyfriend – and he was going to do it too, he really was – but stopped himself before he could. So instead he made coffins. Beautiful, wooden coffins with such intricate details no one would’ve guessed they were made out of both frustration and love. The wood he worked with was already dead, chopped by his own hand, which annoyed him slightly. However after centuries of being the way he was, he brushed it off quickly. Everything he touched died. So what? It never bothered him until he fell in love with Life.

Occasionally Life watched him work. He’d lean against the metal shed, arms crossed over his chest, and simply observed. “Whose coffin is that going to be?” was a common question he asked. When Death told him, he’d whistle before giving his own two cents on the details:

“She loved bows, maybe carve that in?” 

Or: 

“He had three dogs. Remember them? Blackie and Berlitz and Aster? Would be rad to include them in there somewhere.”

So Death did. After all, Life knew them while they were alive. Death knew them only when they were dying.

\--

The first gift Life gave him was a shock. He held a little Eurasian brown bear cub in his arms, cradling it as if it were a baby. And in a sense it was. But when he saw the surprised horror on Death’s face, he quickly explained, “Don’t freak out, dude. Please just listen. She was born sick and isn’t going to make it through the winter so I thought, since I love you, that she could be a gift, you know?”

“Alfred…” Ivan said, voice faltering. “Alfred, I cannot accept this.” He took a step back and raised his hands in a stop signal.

“She’s _sick_ , babe.”

“It does not matter. She still has a few weeks left to live.”

“Yeah but in pain. It wouldn’t be a good life for her, however short it would be. Ivan, please accept this.” Alfred took a step forward, holding out the cub. His bright blue eyes matched his tone – pleading and urgent.

Ivan ran a hand through his beige hair while he contemplated it. On one hand it was true, the cub was as good as dead if she went back. Her mother would stop feeding her, she would grow weaker and then die. Not to mention she was a gift from Alfred, not so different than the wilting flowers Ivan gave him. Yet on the other hand the poor bear had a few more weeks to live, to explore the world. To take that away was not something Ivan liked to do. Especially since he hadn't even noticed her yet. _But it is a gift,_ he told himself. _It is a reasonable, well-meant gift. And I love him, I do…_

_But I can’t._

Death opened his mouth to tell him no, but couldn’t get the words out. So he shook his head and said, “Do not give her to me just yet, Life.”

Life’s face fell.

\--

Wooden splinters adorned his hands, the hammer making its own music each time it hit a nail. The coffin wasn't big. No, quite the contrary. It was small, only just big enough to fit a bear cub.

_BANG!_

With the rough outline of it done, Death began to sand it down. He took his sandpaper pad and brushed over the oak. Carefully. Gently. Almost a caress. True, he could have used a machine to do this job nowadays, but he liked the work. It was like knitting - he could construct something usable without a machine and just by using his own two hands. Something that didn't go out of fashion. He flicked his scarf over his shoulder while he concentrated. The sawdust fell like snow on the floor, covering his boots in a thin layer.

Two hours later, when the casket was smooth all around, Death got out some moss and grass for the inner lining. For humans, he would use fabric, but for animals it was whatever they slept on. Whatever was comfiest. He put it on the bottom of the coffin, making sure that no wood could be seen. Satisfied with his work, he then got out his chisel, knife, and hammer. Pulled up a chair and started to chip carve the exterior. A story was born while he worked; a sun, a mother bear and her cubs playing in a field. He drew the life he wished for the cub if she hadn't been born ill. The catch of her first salmon, the climb of her first tree. Death poured every ounce of care he had into it. And when he was finished, he put down his tools and stretched.

”Will you accept her now?”

The question was spoken in a hesitant way, which was oh so different than normal. Death looked up to see Life standing on the threshold of the shed, cradling a sickly looking bear. Violet eyes softened and he got up, dusting off the dust from his pants, and picked up the coffin. With a nod he motioned that his beloved follow him.

Since the coffin wasn't at all big nor heavy, he carried it along with a shovel and some rope outside to the edges of the woods nearby. He set the coffin down at the base of a lichen covered tree before turning around and starting to dig. He dug and he dug, never tiring or getting sweaty, until he had a six foot hole. Only then did he stop to climb out. He brushed off the dirt from his coat, sometimes having to brush extra hard at the spots that lingered, so that he was presentable. As soon as he deemed himself so, he motioned for Alfred to give him the bear.

A minute later and the bear was in his arms. Warm. Alive. Just how it was supposed to be. Both blue eyes and amethyst watched as her breathing turned deeper and slower and more spaced out up until she didn’t breathe at all. Cold. Dead. Just how it was supposed to be.

“I gave her a peaceful death,” Ivan said softly. He sat down on the ground, putting her in front of him.

Alfred followed suit, sitting at a comfortable yet safe distance across from him, blue eyes watching as the other took out a small, empty glass container from his coat pocket. "What's that?" he asked.

"A soul vial. Now hush," his boyfriend instructed while he twisted the top open. He then gently turned the bear over so that she was lying on her back before running his free hand up and down her stomach. When he was done, he picked her up and put her in his lap, positioning her so that it seemed as if she was about to nurse on a bottle. "Be at peace, little bear," Ivan murmured gently, opening her mouth. When he placed the soul vial to her lips, a wisp of something smoke-like floated out and into the ampule. It danced around in there, young and carefree.

“Beautiful,” whispered Alfred in regards to the wisp.

Death looked up and nodded in agreement. In one smooth motion he closed the small lid tightly and pocketed it before getting up. Life followed him from behind, blue eyes wide. He watched as the taller man lay the cub down in the coffin. Watched as Death positioned her to look as if she were peacefully asleep before he closed the wooden lid.

Life handed him the rope so that they both could lower the casket into the grave. Silence passed between them, and the only thing to break it were the birds nearby and the soft thud of wood touching dirt. Death released his rope, grabbed his shovel, and started to cover the hole up while he hummed a solemn tune. Life followed suit, harmonizing instinctively. Their voices carried on the wind and across the valley. The birds started to sing with them, the trees rustled their leaves at the sound. But both Life and Death knew that the animals or plants couldn’t hear nor see them; that everything was subconscious when it came to communication.

Later, when he had finished burying the coffin, Death spotted a patch of wildflowers close-by and - in a split second decision - picked some. Naturally they died in his hand, but he passed them anyway to Life so that the bear cub would have something to mark her gravesite.

“Walk with me,” Ivan said a few moments after the whole burial had finished. He leaned on his shovel, a small grin on his face. “I want to tell you something.”

“What’s that?” Alfred asked.

The shovel was hoisted over Ivan’s shoulder while he walked into the woods, in step with Alfred. He gripped the handle tightly, trying to think of how to phrase it correctly. “Sunflower,” he began, “I love you - and your gift was a thoughtful gesture…”

“Why do I feel like there’s gonna be a ‘but’ in there somewhere?”

Ivan let out a breathy, humorless laugh. “Yes, there is a ‘but’.”

“Probably not going to be as cute as your butt, though.” Alfred teased, pushing the handle of the shovel in a gesture of playful shoving.

“ _Alfred._ ”

“Aww come on man that was a killer line!”

“Debatable,” Ivan replied cheekily with a smirk.

“You know wha -”

The blue eyed blond started, only to be cut off.

“ _As I was saying,_ I love you to the stars and beyond, but your gift made me a little uncomfortable.”

Life stopped walking, as did Death. Confusion was written all across the former’s face. His mouth opened and closed while he tried to find a suitable thing to say. “I’m...I…” He struggled, “I had no idea. I figured since you’re, well, you’re Death, you know? And I’m Life so...shit dude why didn’t you tell me this before?”

Death shifted on his feet. “I was about to,” he confessed. “But you seemed so adamant about gifting me the little bear, I could not refuse the second time. Not to mention she _was_ fatally ill. But Alfred, my darling, please do not gift me something alive next time.” Violet eyes searched blue urgently. “Promise me?”

“I promise, Ivan.” Life stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. After a hesitant beat, he asked, “Can I ask why?”

Death didn’t answer. Instead he adjusted his scarf and continued to walk, changing the subject to something else.

\--

The fresh scent of petrichor invaded Death’s nose the second he opened the door leading to his chamber of souls. He wrinkled his nose as he stepped over the threshold and closed the door - he could never fully get used to the fragrance. Inside, there were no lights, not even candles. It wasn’t like he needed them to begin with, the vials all gave off their own luminescence. Blinking like stars in their unearthly blue-silver hue.

Each vial was a different size. The bigger they were the longer the life; the smaller they were the younger the age of death. They lined the walls and sat on wooden racks Ivan had carved. Each wall held a different section. For instance the north wall was for humans, the south for animals, the east for plants, and the west for those extinct. And within those sections were subsections based on cause of death. For example in the human section, the subsections were: natural death, medical complication, natural disaster, suicide, murder, war, and accidental. The animal section had a few as well: natural death, hunted by mankind, natural disaster, and medical complication. 

Death came and went as he pleased, putting the vials he had collected that day in their proper place. When he felt good enough he would hum a tune. The humming cheered up the spirits as well, and they shone brighter because of it.

Amethyst eyes wandered around the room before landing on the south wall. He wanted to gift Life something as well and an animal for an animal seemed sensible.

So he marched on over there and chose the brightest looking vial. He weighed it in his hand, turning it over a few times. _Eaglet,_ Death identified. _Alfred would be pleased._

And Life _was_ pleased when he got it. Ecstatic, even. His whole face lit up like fireworks once he saw the small ampule in Death’s hand, and he pointed to it enthusiastically. “Is that for me?” He questioned.

Ivan made an amused sound. “Yes.” He held it out for him, smiling sheepishly. “It’s an eaglet.”

Alfred took it, careful not to brush his boyfriend’s hand. The sunlight reflected along the glass and turned the soul into an unearthly shade of light blue. “Wow,” he laughed happily. “This is so freaking _cool.”_

“Open it.”

“Wait - you serious?”

Ivan rolled his eyes. “Why else would I give you a soul?”

Alfred gave him a look. “It’s not me who needs a soul, bud. _You_ on the other hand…”

“Have plenty.” He finished for him with a smug smile on his face.

“Uh huh sure. Whatever you say, big guy, whatever you say. So I just open it, yeah?”

“Yes but be careful not to break the glass...!”

“I’m not going to break the glass. That would be ridiculous like could you imagine?”

A pause then:

“ _Holy shit, Ivan_ how tight is this thing sealed?”

“Not very tight at all. You twist it and it should -”

“Hold on I got it! I got it just -” Alfred grunted, face going red as he tried to open the vial. It was like that for another few minutes before:

_POP!_

“There we go!” Life whooped, fist pumping the air and letting out a whoop of excitement.

Death, however, was not so celebratory. No, rather he watched the wisp about to escape out of its container. “Alfred,” he exclaimed, “Alfred, watch the eaglet!”

“Ohhh shit. Hold the vial, babe! I gotta catch this guy real quick. _Ivan, hold the vial it's going to escape.”_

Death did what was asked of him, brow creasing with stress. Life’s own face was concentrated on trying to extract the soul without it floating off. Something told him that if it flew off, then that was that and there was no way it could become wholly alive again. _It’d become a ghost probably,_ he thought. That alone was enough reason to get it right. They both hated dealing with ghosts.

Life sucked in a breath when the wisp whispered beneath his fingers. Hot and cold at the same time, a blend of life force and death. It felt strange and smelled of rain. Life cupped his hands below it and the soul swirled and danced right atop of them, glowing brighter than before. As if it knew what was about to happen. Life brought it up parallel to his mouth before blowing gently on it. The soul dispersed into small strands of separate wisps, each taking shape. Together they formed a baby bird, and it wasn’t until Life covered the wisps with his hands that the coldness went away.

“Why are you covering it?” Death asked. His eyes flicked from Life’s face to his hands.

“You’ll see,” Life responded nonchalantly.

A chirping sound emitted from Life's hands. Blue eyes met purple, joy and wonder twinkling in them. With a small smile, Death broke eye contact to watch as Life took one hand away to reveal a newborn eaglet resting in the palm of his hand. It was ugly, as all newborns were, but it held a strong promise of growing old. And in that way, it was beautiful.

He felt Alfred watching him and so he looked up. What he saw instead was a face painted with dozens of emotions, each one indescribable. "Thank you for the gift," Alfred said. "It's perfect."

Ivan responded by blowing a kiss. "It is the least I can do, sunflower."


End file.
